To Thaw A Frozen Heart
by ImaginaryGirlxx
Summary: After jumping into the Doctor's time stream, Clara is much more aware of what's going on than we are lead to believe. Based on the episode The Snowmen. Also contains spoilers for NoTD.
1. Chapter 1

**Here's my new idea for a story! I'm planning to write the whole episode of The Snowmen from 21st century Clara's perspective if people are willing to read that. Hope you enjoy it :)**

Clara Oswald had been working at The Rose and Crown for a while now, waiting. She knew that the doctor would turn up soon. He always did when she was around this age. And then she'd have to die. That was the way her life worked. She was born, she lived and she died. Every time to save his life. He never knew she was there and it hurt at first but it was something she'd grown used to until one day he did hear her. The Dalek Asylum. Since then she'd been trying harder and harder to get his attention, hoping one day he'd notice her again.

Still it wasn't as if she could stop living her life while she waited for him to show up. She had the opportunity to live over and over again and the optimist in her chose to look at that as a gift. She could help other people throughout both history and the future. The one profession she'd felt drawn to was teaching so she'd found a job working as a governess for a lovely family across town from The Rose and Crown, but she couldn't quit her other job as a barmaid either. She cared too much about the owner to do that to him. This was why she found herself serving drinks to the regulars that night the snow fell.

She stepped outside for a second and something unusual caught her eye, as it always did. The way her life went it was good for her to pay attention to the strange goings-on, often alerting her to the Doctor's presence.

This time it was a snowman: a snowman that had been built in less than a second. Next to the snowman a man stood, inspecting it as she had been about to do.

"Did you make this snowman?" She asked.

"No." The man replied. There he was. She'd recognise that voice anywhere. It was her Doctor again. Finally she'd run into an incarnation of the Doctor that she knew personally. Although a part of her could sense that there was something different about the Doctor in this time of his life but she couldn't put her finger on what it was. She noticed the spring in his step had gone as he walked away without so much as looking at her but right now that wasn't her main concern.

He'd heard her again.

A voice in her head that reminded her a lot of Professor River Song, for reasons she could probably guess, was warning her not to tell him anything about who she was. She couldn't let him connect her to Oswin Oswald. If he did he'd get obsessed with finding out who she was.

It was then that another thought entered her mind. This was how he came to know her and made the decision to find her. This was why she was here now. The paradoxes were starting to confuse her so she shut them off and just focused on the fact that the Doctor was here and now and he could hear her.

"Well who did?" She asked him, referring to the snowman. "Cause it wasn't there a second ago. It just appeared from nowhere."

Clara could tell he'd got her attention. He stopped in his tracks and turned around, putting on a pair of glasses she recognised as the ones he'd taken from the companion before her – Amy Pond. That must be why he seemed so depressed. He'd just lost the Ponds. Clara's heart broke again for him as she remembered seeing him in the graveyard as the angel took them from him.

"Maybe it's snow that fell before." He theorised. "Maybe it remembers how to make a snowman."

"What? Snow that can remember? That's silly." Clara laughed.

"What's wrong with silly?"

"Nothing. Still talking to you, ain't I?" She teased him. She built up a rapport with him easily, talking to him as easily as she had when she was first alive.

He looked up at her and gave her a small smile, which she returned. In that moment it felt like they connected. Could she be getting through to him?

"What's your name?" The Doctor asked her.

"Clara." She replied. She couldn't expand on that. Not yet. If he connected her with Oswin at this stage Clara had a feeling things wouldn't end well. She wouldn't have the opportunity to save him like she was destined to do.

"Nice name, Clara. You should definitely keep it." He said. Some things never changed. "Goodbye."

Clara couldn't let him go. She'd been lost for so long, running. Running to find the Doctor. Now he's noticed her she wants to get to know him again. She wants, no – she needs to help him. Even when that means dying for him.

Knowing that she has no other choice, she runs after him.

"Oi! Where are you going? I thought we was just getting acquainted." She shouts.

"Those were the days." He smiled nostalgically as he walked away again.

Clara was about to give up for the night, knowing she should really be working. She took a couple of steps back towards The Rose and Crown when she changed her mind. She couldn't let him stay closed off to the world like this and she definitely couldn't stand to see him in this much pain. Besides, how was she supposed to save him if she let him go now? No, she couldn't do it.

Turning on her heel Clara ran after him.

**What do you think? Drop me a review if you want me to continue with this. The next chapter is almost finished so I'll post it in the next couple of days if I get enough demand for more :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Massive thanks to those who reviewed and followed this story :) I hope you like this chapter!**

Clara ran around the corner to see the Doctor's horse drawn carriage and it suddenly hit her that she missed her car, and the 21st century fashions. As much as she loved the clothes in the Victorian era, they weren't the most comfortable things to wear, let alone run in. She could barely breathe as she tried not to trip over the long dress.

After struggling to catch up with the carriage she knew there was no way she'd be able to overtake it so she made the split second decision to try and board it. She jumped on the back and climbed up to the roof, ripping her dress and bruising her knee in the process. She heard him talking to a woman about her, how she'd never be able to find him without his name. Luckily for her she knew his name, she thought to herself smugly.

"Doctor?" Clara cried out as she put her head through the hole in the roof. "Doctor who?" She couldn't help but give a small smile as she said that, remembering the day she first met him when he told her how much he enjoyed hearing those two words said out loud.

"You shouldn't have followed me." He says solemnly. She could tell he was still grieving from the loss of the Ponds and didn't want to let anyone get close to him, which was why his next words surprised her somewhat. "Get down from there and come and sit in here." He instructed.

An onlooker would think her insane for accepting the strange gentleman's offer, if they didn't already after seeing her run through the street and jump on top of the carriage. But she wasn't crazy, at least not about this. She knew the Doctor and she trusted him never to hurt her, even though he didn't know her yet. This must've been almost how River Song had felt in the Library, she figured. Of course, she could imagine River's pain being even greater as she was looking straight into the vacant eyes of her own husband, but it still hurt Clara all the same. Every time he didn't see her when she passed him in the street, every time he didn't recognise her, it all hurt.

Realising that the Doctor was still waiting for her to respond, she jumped onto the ground, briefly thankful for the snow for giving her a soft landing until she remembered it was most likely dangerous. The Doctor opened the door for her and she slid in opposite him. As she adjusted her dress he slipped out, closing and locking the door behind him.

"Oi! Doctor! Let me out!" Clara cried but he didn't respond. She knew she had to get out of there and kept shouting at him to open the door. Over her screams she could just about make out the sounds of him talking to someone else but she wasn't listening to what they were saying. She was too angry. Why would he lock her in here?

Eventually she heard the door unlock and the Doctor got in. "Don't worry." He told her. "No one's going to hurt you."

She knew that, but it was still reassuring to hear him say it, if only as proof that there was still a good, caring man underneath his icy exterior. He was obviously wary of how he was being perceived and didn't want the strange young woman sitting opposite him to be scared.

She took her eyes off of the Doctor for a second to get a look at his companion. She didn't know what to make of it, whatever _it_ was, but could only assume it was an alien.

"What is that thing?" She asked.

"Silence boy." The thing said with a low voice. Alright, probably a male then.

"That's Strax." The Doctor said. "And as you can see he's easily confused."

Strax, whatever he was, spoke up again. "Silence girl." He said, with emphasis on 'girl'. "Sorry lad."

"Sontaran." The Doctor explained, obviously annoyed. Clara couldn't quite tell if it was directed towards her, Strax or whatever was going on with the snow. "Clone warrior race. Factory produced whole legions at a time. Two genders is a bit further than he can count."

"Sir, do not discuss my reproductive cycle in front of enemy girls." Strax snarled. "It's embarrassing."

"Typical middle child of six million."

Clara was about to make a comment on what he'd told her when she realised a normal Victorian barmaid wouldn't know about aliens, nor would she find anything that was happening normal. Instead, she opted for a safer question.

"Who are you?" She asked.

"It doesn't matter because you're about to forget that you and I ever met." Clara was shocked. What was he doing? This wasn't the Doctor she knew, at least not during this regeneration. "We'll need the worm." He said to Strax, who seemed to know what he was talking about.

"You'll need the what?" Clara asked frantically. "The worm? What worm?"

"Don't worry it won't hurt you but one touch on your bare skin and you lose the last hour of your memory." He explained, as if that thought was meant to calm her down. If she let him use this worm on her there's no telling what could happen. She'd forget they ever met and then she wouldn't be able to save him from whatever danger this snow presented.

Strax came back a few seconds later empty-handed.

"Were is it?" The Doctor asked.

"Where's what, sir?"

"Did you? When?" He asked and then he noticed Clara. "Who's he? What are we doing here?" Srax continued. "Look it's been snowing." He smiled.

It clicked in Clara's mind what had happened and she had to hold back a laugh. Between Strax and the Doctor she figured they'd have a hard time finding that memory worm and remembering what they were going to do with it.

"You didn't use the gauntlets did you?" The Doctor concluded.

"Why would I need the gauntlets?" Strax asked. "Do you want me to get the memory worm?"

Deciding to stay around and watch the scene unfold, Clara followed the Doctor as he got out of the carriage and went to help Strax.

"Well, can you see it?" He asked.

"I think I can hear it."

Clara laughed at the scene. This was a side of the Doctor that was hilarious to her and she wished there was a way she could see him again when he knew who she was so that she could tease him for it.

She was suddenly saddened at the thought of never being able to go back to her old life. She'd worked on keeping herself busy so as to be distracted from the pain of leaving everyone and everything she loved behind. She missed Artie and Angie, she missed her family and friends, she missed her home comforts, but most of all she missed the Doctor. The hardest thing for her was being around him so often and him not being there as she knew him. He would look right through her now and after everything they'd been through together that thought always gave her a twinge of sadness.

The Doctor suddenly turned around to face her, dragging her out of her train of thought and reminding her that he was still here, even if he didn't know her.

"Oi! Don't try to run away! Stay where you are." He told her.

"Why would I run?" Clara giggled. "I know what's gonna happen next and it's funny."

"What's funny?" The Doctor asked. Typical for him, really. He had no idea how hilarious he could be without even trying.

"Well your little friend for a start. He's an ugly little fella isn't he?"

"Maybe. He gave his life for a friend of mine once." The Doctor defended him.

"Then how come he's alive?" Clara asked. There were some things about time travel she'd never understand.

"Another friend of mine brought him back. I'm not sure if his brain made the return trip."

"Neither am I?' Clara agreed.

"I can see it!" Strax declared.

"Can you reach it? Have you got it?"

"Got what, sir?" Strax asked.

Clara rolled her eyes. "Because these are the gauntlets, aren't they?" She said, holding them up for him to see.

"Sir, emergency! I think I've been run over by a cab!" Strax shouted.

The Doctor rolled his eyes and set about getting the memory worm himself. Watching him struggle was almost as funny as watching Strax, from Clara's perspective. She laughed as he bumped his head countless times trying to reach for it and get up from underneath the carriage once he'd finally caught it.

"There you go." He said, holding the ugly wriggling thing up. "One touch and you lose about an hour of your memory. Let it bite you and you could lose decades. And you're still not trying to run." He commented, surprised.

She couldn't run, not when the Doctor was like this. There was something different about him and it worried her. This wasn't the Doctor she knew.

"I don't understand how the snowman built itself. I'll run… once you've explained." Clara told him. It wasn't a lie, just wasn't the whole truth either. But then again it wasn't as if he'd never lied to her. That was rule one, wasn't it? The Doctor lies.

"Clara who?" He asked her, curious.

"Doctor who?" She retorted.

"Dangerous question." He warned.

"What's wrong with dangerous?" Clara questioned. She didn't have a problem with danger and the Doctor she knew was well aware of that fact.

The Doctor started mumbling something about the snow but Clara's attention was quickly drawn away from it when another snowman appeared by itself, exactly as it had done earlier.

"The snowmen." She interrupted him but he didn't seem to be listening to her, lost in his own train of thought. Clara knew when he got into his science-babble, as she referred to it, he all but tuned out the rest of the world. Once or twice she'd been sure that nothing short of an explosion would stop him until he'd made whatever point he was aiming for. Taking a different approach, she grabbed him by the arm and pulled him towards her, pointing at the snowmen who were fast appearing. "No, Doctor. The snowmen."

Finally he looked around to see exactly what she was talking about.

"Ah, interesting. Well were you thinking about it?" He asked.

"Yes."

"Well… stop." As if it were that easy, Clara thought to herself. "Clara stop thinking about the snowmen. Get down!" He shouted. The Doctor then took her face in his hands, his eyes pleading her to listen to him. The gesture seemed so intimate under the circumstances that she could almost believe he was the Doctor she knew. "Clara listen to me the snow is feeding off your thoughts."

"I don't understand!" Clara shouted.

"You're caught in their telepathic field. They're mirroring you. The more you think about the snowmen the more they appear. Imagine them melted. Picture it! Picture them melted!" He screamed at her.

Clara wasn't sure how she made it work but it did. It was as if the second she focused on them melting instead of growing they turned into nothing but puddles of water.

"Well, very good! Very, very good." The Doctor praised.

"Is that gonna happen again?" She asked.

"Well if it does you know what do to about it."

"Unless I forget." Clara pointed out. It was the opportunity she needed. There was no way the Doctor would put her in danger after that.

He put Clara in the cab that Strax was driving and she felt a sudden sadness that he was sending her away. Of course, she knew that this Doctor had no idea who she was, and probably hadn't even connected her to Oswin yet, but it still hurt that he didn't want to know her. Although, it seemed now that he didn't want to know anyone so at least Clara could take comfort in the fact that it wasn't personal.

"Don't come looking for me. Forget about me. Do you understand?" He told her. As if it was that easy? The woman on the other end of the phone in the cab earlier had been right. He made an impact on everyone he met and very few could forget him. She'd certainly witnessed that more than a few times throughout her various lives.

"What about the snow? Shouldn't we be warning people?" She asked. If nothing else, she had to get the Doctor to care. This wasn't him. He'd always cared but something had changed and most likely, Clara thought, it was the loss of the Ponds.

"Not my problem." He told her firmly as he closed the door on her. He was right. He didn't save to save all those people. It never stopped him from trying though. She'd seen his past and some of his future and knew that he would always try and do everything to save the people he encountered, no matter what their backstory or race or species was. "Merry Christmas." He said to her before turning to Strax. "Take her back where we found her."

"Sir." Strax obliged.

Clara's mind was made up. She couldn't let him do this. There had to be something she could do to help him get over his loss and back to the man she knew. She snuck out of the cab with a resolve to follow him discretely until she could come up with a way of helping him, of saving him from himself. If he let the human race be wiped out by snowmen, which Clara still thought was a ridiculous notion, he'd never be able to live with herself.


End file.
